Ready for a Dog?

The loss of our dogs is nearly inevitable since their life spans are not as long as ours, but that never lessens the pain.  Especially when a young dog, less then 3 years old dies from undetected birth defect.

So every since he was put down, I have been looking for a replacement.  My husband tells me I cannot get a dog and he wants me to wait.  I am not ready he says.  Well he is right about a couple of points, he says I am mourning not just Taz but the loss of Yoshi too.  You see Yoshi was adopted out to a family because he didn’t tolerate a high rise living very well.  So he is now living in Ohio with a family of dogs and cats.  I didn’t miss him in Virginia, but when we moved back to this house – I did.  He wasn’t there and Taz came in and captured my heart, but much like Yoshi he was a Yoshi replacement.

For many people, part of what does help is welcoming a new dog into their lives as soon as they can find the right one. For many others, it takes a long time before they are ready for that, and some never are.  Another point my husband is right about – not just accepting any dog, but the right dog.  So my niece has a cute young female dog, Betty who needs a home, but she is nothing like I want.  First I want a male dog, that weighs less then 20 lbs that is a lap dog.  Not a beagle that weighs 25 lbs and is a little bigger then a lap dog.  So I do conceded it isn’t the dog for me.  Guilt into saving this dog from destruction really cannot be my motivation.

Another point he had, was why not wait until after our trip to Jamaica in November.  Why get a dog and then have to board it for 11-12 days.  So another good point.   So unless the right dog comes along – I will wait as he commands.  Now he really isn’t commanding – he wouldn’t divorce me or not talk to me if I came home with a dog – but is it in our best interest or the dogs to do that.

It’s common to feel that the house is just not a home without a dog and that this absence must be remedied quickly before arriving home one more time without the sound of four-legged footsteps running to the door.  I do miss the “happy dance.”  I thought a new dog will ease the sadness and bring joy.

For people who need to grieve longer before they feel prepared to love another dog, then waiting makes sense. If working through the pain without the complication of a new relationship feels right.  So I am working through the pain of loss of 2 dogs – Yoshi and Taz.  It is tragic either way now Taz died and Yoshi who is about 7 is living a happy life with a family in Ohio.  So I’ll work through this grief but not with another dog to replace them.

I’ll wait for the right dog to come along.

I hope all my friends and niece who are trying to help will understand.  I need to stop looking for a while and concentrate on the process of grieving.




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